Space

When I was a kid we spent the school year in an apartment, first in The Bronx and later in the Westchester suburb, Mamaroneck. Life was constrained.  There was the space of the apartment, there were the demands of school and its schedule, there were expectations for what we would wear and how we would behave. But we spent our summers on 75 acres in the small rural town of Amenia, and life there was bigger and freer in every respect.  We woke up when we wanted to, we roamed the wooded hills, we swam in the lake whenever we felt like it.  We wore what we wanted to – shoes were optional, and often so was clothing.  When there were men or boys around, we could still declare girl time at the lake and swim naked. Breakfast and lunch were often do it yourself, but we did have dinner together most nights. Except for rare intrusions, our time was our own.  Our chores were minimal. I remember the feeling of expansiveness at the start of each summer.

Our garden in Palo Alto was a little sanctuary. I always felt buffered there from the big, busy, demanding world.  But it is different here on the hill, with long views and the nearest neighbor out of earshot.  It is the expansiveness I felt as a kid. Something I didn’t know was closed in me opens. I find it easy to be idle. It’s satisfying to sit and watch the weather or look at the trees or wonder if it’s a mouse under the snow that’s driving Charlie to distraction. He forgets how cold he is and pounces into the snow, digging his nose in over and over.  I haven’t caught a picture of him yet with his snout covered in snow looking alert and perplexed. We do have a little schedule; the classes at the gym keep us aware of day and time.  And I’m gradually adding events to the calendar – services tomorrow night at the synagogue in Oneonta, a grilled cheese sandwich fundraiser, a class on beekeeping (who knows?), a play reading, a movie, a visit from Tamar and Ryder and possibly our old friend Mado for the weekend. I promise to post a review of the grilled cheese event, but you’ll have to be patient, it’s not til the 11th.