Home

We left our wonderful home in Hartwick just over a month ago on 6/11.  It was surprisingly not hard to leave, much as I loved that home.  I think that over the years I’ve made some progress on not becoming overly attached to things.  We had a wonderful run on our beautiful Sunnyhill, and there are certainly things I miss already.  But what stays with me is not the leaving of it, but the happy memories of life there.

The only thing about the drive out to California that was better than I had anticipated was that Hazel turned out to be a great traveler. Once I covered her carrier, she was just fine for a full day of driving, and she also did fine in hotels.  Managing her on stops during the very hot days (122 in Arizona) was the only challenge, but I just took her everywhere in her carrier and she was perfect, attracting a lot of attention from little girls in restrooms.  In almost every other way, the trip was one we will happily forget. We did have three wonderful visits with friends on the way, including a delightful lunch with our former Cantor, Lauren Bandeman, at her lovely home in Columbus.  But caravaning was hard, and just not fun, and the heat made our stops hard to enjoy.  So we were very glad to get off the road in Pleasant Hill.

The RV Jay had bought for us was here in his driveway on Hoover Avenue.  His tenant, Daniel, welcomed us and couldn’t be nicer.  He’s let me use the laundry in the house, which is so nice.  I hadn’t been in the house before, as there were always tenants when we drove by.  It’s a sweet little house, about the same size as #6 Walnut, our house in Cooperstown.  The back yard is blessedly in shade all day, and fenced for privacy.  There’s a small front porch where we can sit in shade and watch neighborhood life.  Hoover is a short street, with minimal traffic.  There are tons of trees and no sidewalks, and it has a surprisingly rural feel.  There is a network of trails through Pleasant Hill, and Charlie and I can walk just a block and be on the closest one that runs alongside a small canal. Walking the trail on our second day here we met people and dogs we recognized from the first day and started to feel that this was our neighborhood. The trail takes us to a good coffee house, a terrific Mexican restaurant, Sol y Luna (where we are already regulars), a dry cleaners, and a hair and nail salon.  And I can walk to my new dentist.

Jay has owned this house for over 30 years, and his Dad owned it for many years before that, so Jay has a lot of history here and a lot of connections.  He knows the neighbors on both sides and the histories of many houses on the block.  The breakfast/lunch place next to Sol y Luna, Anne’s Sunshine Cafe, was where his Dad ate breakfast and lunch with his pals every day from its opening to when Jack died.  Anne sold the restaurant to her longtime cook and retired. The cook kept Anne’s as it was and added Sol y Luna next door.  During the Covid year he opened a patio that both places share, which makes both of them dog friendly.  Charlie is a big hit because he will happily clean up under the table where a toddler has left a mess.

It’s about an hour’s drive to Liz’s place (my daughter and family) in San Jose outside commute hours, and about the same to Palo Alto.  We’ve been to Liz’s twice already, and this week I’ll start regular Wednesday visits with Liz and the boys.  We’ve seen four of the seven grandkids so far – just not the Seaside clan yet, although we did see Carrie (Jay’s daughter) at Liz’s.  Liz is pretty centrally located for all the blended family, and she’s taken over the burger night tradition we hosted in Palo Alto. It’s a joy to see how the grandkids have grown and changed, and I’m thrilled to have this time with them.

I’ve already played mah jongg once with our dear pals, and look forward to the regular Tuesday games.  These are the women of our Chavurah, a group of friends that becomes an extended family, who I have known for nearly 30 years.  It’s lovely to be back with them.

We went to the 50th AA birthday party of one of Jay’s mentors, and he reconnected with a lot of friends from his original Pleasant Hill group.  Like Jay, these are folks with many years of sobriety, a group who have been friends for a long time, through ups and downs.  We looked online for an Al-anon group, and found a Sunday afternoon parents’ group nearby.  We had had a wonderful parents’ group in Menlo Park near Palo Alto, but then found only a small and pretty depressing group in Cooperstown.  We’ve both been in the program long enough that we don’t usually feel the need for regular meetings, but that parents’ group in Menlo Park was really special, and we always felt we learned something there, and always left feeling supported and understood.  Many Al-anon groups are predominantly attended by spouses of alcoholics, and although the program is the program, a group focused on parents has a different feel. The local Sunday afternoon group has much the same feel as our old group.  Every AA or Al-anon group practices the same program but has its own culture, remarkably consistent over time even as people join and leave.  Anyone is welcome to go to any meeting, but most people find a regular weekly meeting that they consider their home group. We could feel right away that the Sunday afternoon meeting would be that for us. We are home.